Post-breakup. Fuck CG.
I am sharing the text messages exchanged between us over several days leading to our breakup. Her ruthlessness was something I had never encountered before. Reflecting on this for quite some time, I realize that my honesty and vulnerability were evident, especially when I confessed my strong feelings for her. Her response, stating that she did not reciprocate these feelings, deeply hurt me. I was incredibly infatuated with her, which might have clouded my judgment.
In retrospect, I believe we may have rushed things. It was a mistake for my father to agree to certain decisions when they were in Spain. I acknowledge that this error was partly my fault; I had hoped she would understand my perspective. While I’m curious about who she might eventually marry, part of me feels resentful, though I don’t genuinely mean to be derogatory.
It’s a difficult situation, but it is what it is. Below are the texts from our conversation:
CG:
Hey, hope you’re enjoying your time in India.
As we talk about meeting again, i wanted to let you know that i don’t think we should move forward here. It was nice talking to you and getting to know you these last couple months. Thank you for your time and effort, i appreciate it.
Kevin:
Hey Chelsi, all good. But can we talk about it? I thought it was going great
CG:
Sure, what did you wanna talk about
Kevin:
after reading your text, I spent a long time rethinking everything and in just deep sadness. I won’t lie – it hit me hard. I mean obviously i’ve strong feelings for you, and the thought of not moving forward together is tough to process.like I had just finished setting up the present I was going to gift you when we met. I came to India only hoping to take our relationship to the next stage, like meeting your parents. that’s why I was so insistent on having that video call before you left. But now, I’m trying to understand where things might have gone astray.
I’m seeking some closure and understanding. If there are issues, I wonder if they’re fixable? or like what exactly they are. we’ve never really discussed these things, and I feel like I’ve been in the dark, trying to guess your feelings and preferences. I want you to know that I’m open to making changes because what I feel for you is genuine and deep. I mean in just a couple of months I have changed so much. I have seriously considered moving countries, join my family business, and so much more only because I thought thats what you wanted. And I would still do any of it in a heartbeat
but no relationship can thrive on guesswork. I need to understand where you stand and what you feel. If the problem is simply that your feelings aren’t the same, I respect that, though I’m puzzled why this conversation didn’t happen before my trip
I still have strong feelings for you, and I respect you immensely. I just ask for some clarity, so I can move forward, together or not. I know you are a honest person, and I dont think you would have lied. So what changed?
CG:
When you told me about your trip first it sounded like it was coincidental and that it was for a wedding. On the video call when you told me the real reason, i was caught off guard about the whole next stage. From the first time we met in Chicago, I was under the impression that you were fine waiting until i made that call. and then when that discussion did come up, there was no room or time for me to process anything.
Im sorry you felt like you were in the dark, i was being cautious because i didn’t reciprocate the same feelings, which is also why i think we shouldn’t go ahead with it.
Kevin:
well, here’s one final lengthy message from me, i guess. I think I’ve figured out where things got mixed up. it was definitely a miscommunication issue. there were so many messages going back and forth between you and me and the 100 minions in between relaying the message and somewhere along the line, I was under the impression that I should come meet your parents. I wasn’t sure who along this line of communication came up with it. I told my parents that I dont think we were at that stage, but I thought, why not just meet up, just the two of us? That’s what I was trying to ask you on the call. My stance hasn’t changed; I was always okay with waiting, even for months, and I felt like we were building something good
I really wish I hadn’t been pushed into making this trip so hastily by people in between us. But, hindsight is always 20/20, and it’s these kinds of regrets that sting later in life, I suppose. yeah, the trip did start off as just coincidental because of the wedding (which I’m attending right now as I sort through all this). I’ve always been upfront and honest about my intentions, perhaps too honest. I was just hoping for a straightforward no or a gradual yes. but it turned out to be a gradual, painful no, haha. the timing of your message was tough, ngl. being jetlagged, away from home, alone in a strange city, it’s a lot to handle. but I’ll get through it. small things like figuring out what to do with the gift I got for you, or every time I’m in Ghod Dod Road, I’ll probably remember something you said and feel pretty down. I mean at the wedding today they played the same song that they played at your brothers wedding and that was a trigger. you see where im going.. it’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to face. the embarrassment of it with so many people involved is something else
anyway, I don’t want to come off as petty (though I guess I am being a bit, but I think I’ve earned it this time, haha). I just wanted to point out that things didn’t end smoothly. I’m not sure if there’s a way to end this gracefully. Perhaps a call would have been courteous. hopefully, no one else has to go through what we did, and you find the right person 🙂. someone who’ll appreciate promptness and open communication (sorry, one last dig, not trying to be mean, I swear)
CG:
thats fair, i guess there is something to learn from here. Good luck along the process and i hope you find what you’re looking for.