Distance and Emotions

There’s a special someone in my life who never ceases to amaze me. Perhaps saying I’m “obsessed” might be a tad too strong, but she undoubtedly occupies a significant place in my thoughts. Whenever I receive a message from her, my spirits lift, and I feel elated. It’s a genuine joy to interact with her; everything about her captivates me - her interests, her personality, and the unique way she communicates. To me, she seems perfect in every sense.

However, these deep feelings also come with their share of vulnerabilities. Moments when she doesn’t respond, or when our planned Facetime calls don’t materialize, leave me with a tinge of sadness. Such vulnerabilities make me hesitant at times. There’s a part of me that yearns to share everything with her, to be completely open, but with that comes the risk of getting hurt. There are times when I envy the simplicity and assurance of prearranged situations, like marriages where you can openly express yourself without the fear of rejection.

Navigating the pace of this budding relationship has been a challenge. I’ve been contemplating visiting her in Chicago, and I’d hoped to discuss it over our recent Facetime call. But our schedules didn’t align. Now, I’m waiting for her to suggest a convenient time during the week. When responses aren’t swift, I sometimes overthink, wondering if I’ve said something amiss. In person, I feel my charisma shines brighter. If distance weren’t a barrier, and she were here in Seattle, I believe things would have progressed differently.

I’ve had other connections in the past, but none have left as profound an impact. There’s something undeniably unique about her.