Distance and Disappointment: Navigating Changing Priorities in Relationships

It happened again; my brother was promoted – something he had always wanted. He had tried twice before, and today, he finally succeeded. God knows I was nervous during both of those previous attempts; I wanted him to succeed so badly. I had been waiting for this news for a long time, and today was no different – I eagerly awaited the results. When I heard the news, I was the happiest person alive. He usually calls me soon after. I had been waiting for his call all day long. I thought he might realize the added pressure of his promotion and not call, but upon returning home, he went straight to his room and started talking to his fiancée. He didn’t even stop to say “Hi.” I had been eagerly waiting to talk to him! When I confronted him, he jokingly said, “Some people just get second priority!” It hurt me deeply. We used to be so close, sharing everything. I can’t cope with how distant we have become since then. I don’t know whom to blame for all of this.

In the past, as you know, I blamed my brother’s fiancée (who, by the way, got to travel business class on her first-ever international trip). I paid for my own trip to Japan and traveled in economy. Sometimes I feel like I should move out and away from my brother and his fiancée; I don’t think it’s healthy for me. Call it jealousy, envy, lack of attention, or whatever you want, I’m speaking the truth because I can’t tell anyone else. I made it clear that I was offended, and that was it. A few hours ago, when I was very happy, I booked a reservation at a sushi restaurant. I just canceled that reservation; I don’t want to go anymore. I’m so upset. I thought it would be the perfect time spent with family. I had told everyone at work! I feel so foolish that I can’t even congratulate my brother in person because of her. Well, I ended up blaming her for this anyway. It’s been a horrible birthday so far, but I’m glad at least it went well for my brother. What more can you hope for, anyway?